writer's block

He's probably lounging on a beach in the Caribbean sipping a gin and tonic, goggling the girls with his one good eye.

Meanwhile, I'm stuck, senza Muse, to figure out what to do with this writer's block.

I've deleted more words than I've written. How is that mathematically possible, you may ask.

Exactly.

I'm in negative wordage. Which means I have to scribble words on random surfaces until I'm back at zero and can return to my manuscript. I write on Post-It notes, backs of receipts, and bathroom stalls. (Yes, I've discovered the mystery. Messages on stall walls were written by blocked writers, not delinquent teens. Tommy Tutone cured his artistic block by scribbling "867-5309" on a bathroom wall.) I create grocery lists I don't intend to buy, to-do items I'll never do.

The next time my Muse goes on vacation, I'm going with him.